One of the features of my Master of Arts in Interdisciplinary Studies program that I greatly appreciated is the opportunity to revisit and unpack the same concept from different angles. I think this is one of the greatest contributions of interdisciplinarity in general.  All three of my Artifacts offer insight into navigating bias, ambiguity, and language and how these translate to social, political, and academic experiences. Yet, each Artifact is distinct in style and delivery. Artifact One cites a group moderation that led to meaningful group discussion but also provided me with a tangible framework to explicate trade-offs when working in an integrative manner. Artifact Two cites an academic paper on the notion of the system from different perspectives and how different ways of defining the same word or idea can lead to both issues and insights. Artifact Three is a presentation on how an author utilized the tenets of Creative Nonfiction (CNF) to tell a compelling and insightful story, demonstrating how different writing strategies can bring people together to understand and navigate complex issues. In this reflection, I will thread together the collective takeaway from these three Artifacts and the courses they were produced in. These courses are MAIS 601 Making Sense of Theory in the Humanities and Social Sciences, SOCI 537 Deciphering Our Social Worlds and MAIS 617 Creative Nonfiction.  Through these three endeavours, I have learned how to better spot and address bias, tolerate ambiguity, navigate difficult conversations, arrive at a shared use of language, or at least explicate differences, lean into integrative approaches while managing disillusionment, and write creatively to navigate these experiences. Creative writing has also served as a channel to connect with others navigating these and other social and political issues. My Artifacts cite specific examples that I will refer to. But I will also cite additional experiences that reflect how I have integrated my learning.

​

In Artifact One, I share how peer discussions have helped me develop my identity as an interdisciplinary professional. I cite an example of how I caught myself drawing parallels with the notion of community where there weren’t any. When I think further about this experience, I remember researching Indigenous perspectives on leadership and how the community was a central value. I then thought about the conversations my team and I had had about our leadership program. The idea of creating a learning community rather than an instructor-student dynamic was central to our design. I then went into the land acknowledgement crafting exercise discussed in Artifact One. Armed with my newfound connection between Indigenous values and our program values, I crafted a land acknowledgement that spoke to this similarity. However, the way this statement was positioned, insinuated that we were taking the Indigenous perspective into account in our work when this happened to be coincident. And not a deep coincident since the way community is understood by Indigenous communities and the way we understood community in our program was never explicitly explored. Upon reflection, it turned out that there weren’t very many worldview alignments. Our model teaches leadership within a colonial governance and leadership model. Our land acknowledgement pivoted to name this tension instead of drawing feeble parallels. None of this would have happened had I not been practicing the probing and questioning practices that I learned in the MAIS program. This realization was a product of assuming I had a bias and asking questions over and over to unearth what that was. Turns out this noble effort to form a connection was perpetuating colonial thought.

​

And yet, like the tense conversation about equality I share in Artifact Two, I find myself in tension between operating within a colonial model where so much of what is the dominant narrative is unconscious and having meaningful conversations about social issues with folks can be a challenge. Especially since each of us brings a different level of understanding and comfort level to these interactions. How am I doing? Borrowing from the skills I developed in MAIS 601 and knowing that my MAIS peers are having similar experiences, I have and continue to increase my tolerance for ambiguity while still naming and explicating trade-offs when trying to hold space for multiple perspectives. Practicing this in classes like SOCI 537 and exploring differences in opinion academically, as in Artifact Two, has equipped me with patience. As I have explored how folks in academia – considering the same issues – have been unable to agree, I have developed more grace for people in general. In part, this has come from needing grace for myself as I continue to occasionally fumble (as described above). What’s important here is knowing that even though my intentions were good, my outcomes had the potential to cause harm by reinforcing inequitable power dynamics. What I care more about after the MAIS program is less about being right and more about being accountable. A point of personal development for me has been becoming increasingly confident in saying things like “I don’t know”, “I don’t know enough to have a position”, and “let me think about this some more and get back to you”.

​

Sometimes, this has meant going back and getting the missing information. Other times, it’s been going back and writing creatively to process my experience of frustration with myself and the world when social issues felt overwhelming. Along the way, I have shared some of my creative writing and expression on social media and found that many others resonate with this experience of disillusionment and overwhelm. Many folks have joined me as I navigate the reality that there will always be more questions than answers. This form of expression (CNF), like the one shared in Artifact Three, manages to bring people together in overwhelm and ambiguity as opposed to reinforcing our sense of isolation. Not knowing together or struggling together is the foundation from which people can then mobilize together. Another way to describe this is resilience – both personal and collective. So, when I think about the Artifacts that I have shared and my greater MAIS journey, I see that I have learned how to ask questions, sit in the discomfort of not knowing, and transmute and connect when that discomfort becomes too much. I have not only walked away from this program with tools to apply to important work as in Artifact One, but I have also walked away with tools that will help me take care of myself and others. Writing creatively about our lived experiences as we continue to tackle big issues, with nuanced tangles, is not only sharing the journey but also healing so we can keep going.

​

Let me unpack Artifact Three further. While looking at Tara McGuire’s piece, “I Can Feel Him Breathing” I found myself relating to a woman I know whose son also uses opioids. When McGuire is sitting with the young man in her story, I feel a pang of understanding for the confusion, frustration, and fatigue both McGuire and the mom I know might be feeling. It’s not that I didn’t empathize before. However, when I read this piece that utilized strategies like sharing intimate detail, immersion, and dialogue, my senses were brought right into the experience. While looking out from behind McGuire’s eyes, I felt what she was feeling in my chest. This is the power of CNF. To me, it makes total sense how this type of writing can bring us together and support us in mobilizing toward shared goals. It goes beyond empathy. It evokes perspective and experience where there wasn’t any before.

​

Thinking about the issues that I have unpacked in Artifact One and Two, I see Artifact Three as the most relationally motivated catalyst for change. In my work in the nonprofit sector, relationships drive our work. The entire sector is motivated by a desire to serve others in need of support or opportunity. Storytelling is also a critical element in communicating our impact as nonprofit organizations. We are constantly competing for the same pool of money. The way an organization shows how they have used their funding to support people is the difference between being able to do it again next year or not. So, in addition to challenging our biases, navigating ambiguity, and living in messiness, the MAIS program has also equipped me to navigate current social structures that demand clarity. Through my work, and the MAIS program I understand that people can only get behind a vision and mission if it is shared compellingly. CNF is a tool to share the need for support, and the impact of support and advocate for the ongoing development of supports in an artistic manner. It’s a competitive advantage in drawing an audience and mobilizing for social and political change.

At the end of the road with my MAIS program, what I have been inspired to do is continue carving a path forward. When I first enrolled in graduate school, I enrolled in a Master of Arts in Counselling degree. My entire motivation to switch to the MAIS program was that the former offering felt too narrow for the type of work I wanted to do. I could not happily envision myself becoming a psychologist and meeting folks on one. Though a needed and noble career, it just wasn’t mine. This program, as highlighted in the Artifacts shared in this portfolio expanded me beyond a single perspective. Though that comes with a sense of liberation, it also comes with a sense of uncertainty about what I will choose to create in the world. I envision myself crafting a curriculum and working with groups. I see myself writing and speaking. I see myself tackling the big questions while inspiring small steps in the right direction. I also see myself in the community. I often see myself as individually focused, working on my personal development, and unpacking how I can show up better. In the last few years, with the help of the MAIS program and other life experiences, I now see myself valuing community and what we can gain from connecting and healing together. I am wrapping this program up with no regrets. Rather, I feel empowered to share information and knowledge across boundaries so that we can fill in the gaps and have a more complete picture. So much is gated in the intellectual parameters of disciplines. I am so thrilled I have been able to build bridges and dance outside the confines of these parameters. Through this journey, I continue to work on my patience, knowing that this route isn’t the quickest. As I write now, I remind myself to savour the process and the in-betweens because arriving somewhere is only as meaningful as the journey you have taken to get there. I could not have found a more fitting program. I could not have found a more fitting delivery with the online nature of Athabasca University. I conclude here, knowing this is hardly an ending but rather a beautiful beginning. I am humbled and awestruck that I was able to partake in a program that reflected my talents, skills, and ways of thinking and seeing and stretched them to where they are now. I walk into the rest of my life with a deep appreciation for those who live outside the box and a sense of belonging to be among them. Thank you!

​

References

McGuire, Tara. “I Can Feel Him Breathing.” Room Magazine, https://roommagazine.com/i-can-feel-him-breathing/. Accessed 23, July 2023.